Manifest— Oh!

 Listen!

This is my life— My only life— And with my only life, I aspire to be kind and live in a fashion that demonstrates the virtue of a beautiful life for the world and all. My name is Ryan Andrew Sendejas— Today, I write this letter to you whether I know you or not, with all my love and more. Last night, I sat amongst the stars reflecting upon my experience here at Humboldt State University in the Environmental Studies program and senior capstone project. Two years ago I was living in Southern California, I accepted to leave the comfort of my childhood town, where I was rooted deeply in my community where I had invested time and energy. I was afraid— I did not want to travel and lose everything I had and built, I did not want to be alone. Yet, at the same time, I yearned to develop knowledge and skills that would allow me to become an effective leader in building a more resilient community— unfortunately I knew that I would not be able to achieve this  in Southern California, and felt that HSU would be a place where I could work on becoming an agent of change working on projects that allow me enrich the community.

For the past six years, I have been engaged in invoking knowledge of food sovereignty and how to live on the planet with a lighter footprint. Through my experience, I believe I have earned the persona of one that is an agent of change. What’s an agent of social change? To me, it means one who observes social, environmental, and/or economic (ESE) disparities in the world and feels inspired to act in manifesting equity in the lives of beings and community at large. Such change could occur in small acts, such as listening to those who are experiencing turbulent times or feeding someone in need. In a macro sense, such acts could be acting as a facilitator in community organizing or fostering knowledge in minds of your community by being a teacher/professor. Through our ENST capstone I had the privilege of applying what I’ve learned from our program to positively impact our community by working with the Campus Center for Appropriate Technology(CCAT) as the community garden coordinator. My role was to teach resilience through appropriate technology and food sovereignty with students and community members, while also managing projects that took place over the course of the semester.

Through this process, I taught students not only how to build things, but how to work— they learned what tools were required, how to use them, and why. Together we learned how to build earthen walls made out of superadobe; how to mix and apply of lime-based plasters and natural paints; developed woodworking skills to build a deer fence and garden beds; earthworks to contour rainwater on landscapes; and fundamentals of soil building and gardening. I also organized with the volunteers to work together in crews to complete elements of a larger project. I would work with a student to understood the concept or had experience and delegate them to work with other students. The culmination of this, and the aforementioned is developing skills through hands-on resilience knowledge to utilize in their own lives and communities.

On top of working with students, I also worked with CCAT and the HSU institution to improve the overall structure of the student organization. In the fall of 2016, when I first started working at CCAT the organization as a whole was experiencing a rough period. Much of the structural integrity of the grounds was corroding, various technologies we demonstrated were not functioning properly and the students working with the organization had a lack of cohesion and direction. It was highly discouraging and there were many moments where I was on the brink of a madness and wanted to snap on people who made my experience bitter. At the beginning of the semester, I was invited to give input on what goals CCAT was to achieve and how the employees were to work with one another. I feel that my inclusion within this process was a key element to the organization's success, this past semester we had an amazing crew of C-Kittens that meshed well, communicated effectively and were able complete more projects in this one semester than the past three semesters combined. The merits of working within this structure allowed me to be apart of a group that changed the CCAT as a whole and helped me refine my leadership skills.

Overall, I was happy with my capstone project! I can look back and say that I was instrumental in the foundation of two community gardens, one at each education institution I attended and inspired many students to become involved in their community, all culminating to the enrichment of themselves through living lighter on the planet and resisting capitalist structures. There were a few hardships with my experience, but in the grand scheme of things, it did not hinder me from achieving my goals of this class. I am grateful for this experience. I am grateful for all my friends in this program. I am thankful Sarah Ray. And I am thankful for CCAT for all they have given me.

 

“Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I'll be mad.” ― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi - مولوی

“Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on I'll be mad.” ― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi - مولوی

On the Horizon

I do see myself as a social change agent because I understand how the core foundations of communal structure portrays itself to Society. The Environmental Issues in todays world are based upon allocation of financial gain to large corporations however I have become educated by validating certain aspects of environment justice to help combat the on-going issues on the Environment. With my skills I would hope to preserver the techniques I have learned to help save some resources for the future generation can enjoy. 

I want to focus on giving back to my community on the Hoopa Valley Indian Reservation located north eastern of Humboldt county. I would help with the local struggles by giving my service to help protect the tribes culture and way of life. To define one of the tribe’s problem would have to be food sovereignty. Identifying traditional foods and medicines through the concept of traditional ecological knowledge will help with land management to secure traditions for future generation use. 

Experience is what I have obtain from capstone. Learning to find an organization with the same passions as for the love of the land can enhance my goal into becoming a great steward of the land.

The capstone has shaped my goals by defining what I hold dear in my heart, the life of the river because water is life. Helping restore the watershed has encouraged me to understand the dynamics of a specific biodiversity and habitat and why the niche is important for individual organisms for an example riparian zones. These areas have a high concentration of ferns which some of them are used for basket material for local tribe’s. These baskets are essential into cooking, gathering, and ceremonial caps for women conducting into prayer.

The skill that I have obtain is the experience to gather data in the field that can help persuade arguments into the position of natural resource management. The change would be better for the environment by providing restoration and conservation practices by identifying potential hazards, and cultural significant resources. The idea became manifested by wanting to save my homeland.  

Surveying Campbell Creek watershed located in north eastern Humboldt county. The Campbell creek watershed is a major tributary to the Trinity River. Implementing mitigation plans for conservation and restoration. There are many environmental impacts that are potential hazards to the water runoffs and aquifers such as legal/illegal cannabis grows, illegal solid waste dumping, and sedimentation from old logging roads. Using ARCpro to locate these potential hazards using mobile devices in the Campbell Creek Watershed, and by interpreting aerial imagery can provide a baseline of information for measuring activity that can be harmful to the ecosystem that provides an abundance of resources for a complex bio-diversity and cultural resources for the Hupa Tribe.

ENST vision is to promote TEK; traditional ecological knowledge and how its important to the environment.

The capstone expectations were exceeded this semester because I gained the experience to increase my skill in geospatial science.

By identifying the hazards and to promote policies through the county to ensure the right qualifications were needed to ensure a productive allocation for restoration.

The limitations are going through a rigorous process through the state and federal levels to ensure an act gets done properly.

The reading help gave the foundation of an ENST lens to help promote a collective ontology to identify the issues the environmental is facing when taking action in the capstone project. 

The next steps will to be focus on my minor/ emphasis. Having the skills in geospatial science have given my opportunities to increase my experience in multiple fields. The summer of 2018 is going to be fulfilling and rewarding. I gained a paid internship focusing on Elk habitat on the Yurok Indian Reservation. I am thrilled to advance my studies on the prairie systems and how important they are to the indigenous tribe. My goal is to acquire more skills in mobile mapping by focusing on drones and how they can be used in the field by providing better imagery. Overall, I am on a productive path.

                                                                                                              

Next Chapter

As we begin this next chapter, I mustn't forget my previous voyage that got me here today. The jaw dropping shock when faced with the realities of power and privilege. The obsession with "saving the world", only to be replaced by realistic yet concentrated efforts and endeavors. And of course ENST jargon that repeatedly flipped my world upside down. But all of these encounters filled my toolbox with powerful lenses, skills and passions that will empower me as I write my next chapters.

As I look forward into this next chapter, I remind myself of how I want my metaphorical book to be written. By the time my last chapter is finished and my book is closed, what sort of book will I have written? One day, I will join my family and finally truly become one with this earth. All that will remain is the legacy that I leave behind. I don't need to be in a history book for validation of my legacy, no, I don't need that sentimental shit. Instead, all I want is to pass knowing full well that I made decisions and efforts that left a positive impact on this earth and it's people. I want my metaphorical book to be impactful, empowering, and leave behind tangible impacts that bettered someone or somethings life.

I believe that I am up to the task, but as I turn the page and begin this new chapter, I must remind myself of the values that empower me to make these impacts. I must tend to the peoples environmental struggles with opened, modest, and curious senses. I must harness the tools I have gained to contribute to the momentum of justice and peace here, and everywhere.

from mope to hope

• This is my last assignment to do before I get my undergraduate degree in Environmental Studies. Where the heck does time go? This semester was so busy for me that I often wondered how the days went by so fast, a week often felt like an hour. It was a difficult semester for both my mental health and personal relationships were not doing so well. There were days I moped around my house, not being able to get out of bed on sunny Saturdays in Humboldt. Mope is a weird word not only to say but to spell as well. Moping around also feels weird because I such an energetic human. I needed change so I began to ask those around me to help me get out of my funk and that is probably the number one thing I am most proud of this semester. Not the play I was in, not the grades I received, not the countless hours of working to improve my personal relationships, or even pushing myself to go to therapy. I am proud of myself for asking for help from those around me. Because of this, I feel myself ready to be a social change agent, for when we begin to allow those around us to help, we can start working on creating social change in our communities. I began to feel hope in my body, hope that one day I will be the woman I always wanted to become. Looking back on lazy days, overthinking, and a depressive state of mind, I wouldn't change those moments or eliminate them. In those moments, hope emerged through the people I trust and look to. People who are social change agents for they seek to empower those around them. One of these people is my best friend Kayla. She was a reason hope began to emerge in my life. She got me back on my feet as an empowered, social advocate for change in not only our communities but my personal being. She has a bright light to her, one that can really spark change among this planet. She's also a beautiful poet.
  One way I seek to intervene in this world is to make peoples feel welcome and brilliant through modes of art. I felt I accomplished a little bit of that this semester through my service learning capstone. Through working with the North Coast Arts Integration Project, I was able to assist at teaching first and second graders musical theatre. Rather than sitting for hours and reading about tide pools, we were able to integrate environmental discourses on the importance in tide pools as an ecosystem into movement based activities. I saw brilliance through this project because kids who cannot conform to institutionalized education can now feel empowered and able to learn. This was some students time to finally shine in the school system. When I was a kid, I was seen as having difficulties in learning math. But what if I learned math through the arts? For, the arts have always made sense to me. Creativity and expression fuel arts integration for those who may seem bad at math can allow themselves to shine through learning something like geometry through dance methods. I think as we realize the power in arts integration for the inclusion of all skills and knowledges present in institutionalized education, kids can feel empowered to grow and become social change agents.
  
  I'm so grateful for Environmental Studies at HSU. I'm so happy that I was able to immerse myself into a service learning project within my senior capstone. Everyone in the class, Loren, and Sarah all rooted each other on. If that doesn't show merits for people who can reshape the world we live in, I don't know what does. I love you all, thank you for showing me a new light of environmental discourses in my life.
  
  Next, I'm moving back home. I seek to bring about the knowledge I learned within capstone and integrate it into the community I was raised in. Thank you. I am so empowered, so ready to take on new projects, realize more about myself, fall in love with what makes me happy in life, and use it as a spark to be an ever-growing social change agent. Still I rise among my obstacles that make me feel small. I rise to become an energy that cannot be pushed down, I rise above the moping, to meet hope as face to face, hand in hand.
  
  Thank you everyone for being you. ENST family, you are so lovely.
  
  

  
  

Beautiful, Excruciating Friction: All You Change, Changes You

I owe so much of my politicized outlook to Environmental Studies, whose rigor challenged me to ask the big WHY...again and again and again. Not only did it require digging into the why of our planet's laundry list of oppressive structures and environmental crimes (why is our world so broken? How have historical processes shaped contemporary power relations? Why are those power relations so complicated to untangle?) Environmental Studies also ask me to reflect on why our world can't look, sound, taste and feel different. Because it can, and it turns out revolutionary acts happen everywhere, everyday (thank god).

Over the last two years I've stepped in and out of advocacy shoes and I feel I've finally found ones that fit. The presentation work I did originally with Shanti Belaustegui Pockell and Anais Southard around 'white privilege and the environment' for the Campus Dialogue on Race was pivotal for me. Shanti and I have carried the torch with additional facilitation since then, shaping and reshaping the presentation as we gain feedback and continue to evolve our collective politics. This type of facilitation work marks the first time I felt I could meaningfully contribute to anti-racist struggle in a manner that utilized both my positionally an skillset. The experience of crafting this work and delivering it in a way that feels transformative has helped me embody my role as an advocate. I have, and always will be moved by the vulnerable, round-table style of sharing truths. I believe that creating spaces which incorporate interactive facilitation in an almost collective therapy manner has powerful potential for traversing difficult, intersectional issues across lines of difference.

This semester I explored a particular passion for alternative food systems. the definition of 'food sovereignty,' as defined by La Via Campesina, gives me all the fuzzy feels. The politics of food - how/where food is cultivated, sold, eaten and by whom - are entangled with every facet of society. The alternative food movement, in brief, seeks to redefine our relationship to food and agriculture while contesting the dominant, agribusiness food model. I wanted to find out more about local initiatives for 'alternative food' and how those efforts may or may not be propelling us towards a food soveriegn future. So, how better to educate myself on Arcata's food network than to intern with the North Coast Growers Association, who run the farmers' markets?

My volunteer work with NCGA revolved around rebuffing their compost program, but it was my close observations of Arcata's farmers’ market paired with outside food politics research that led me to question and analyze the white cultural codings embedded within alternative food discourse and spaces. I found that white hegemony and colonialism are perpetuated (often in subconscious, nuanced ways largely invisible to white food advocates) as well as contested across California's farmers' markets and within Arcata.

As with the White Privilege and the Environment workshops, I felt as though my particular positionally, as a white person who participates in the alternative food movement, called me into this work. It picked me, and I responded with my critical environmental studies lens.

Writing a research paper on this topic was liberating as hell. The alternative food movement is dear to me and I had this new 'insider' perspective to use. The slow process of writing gave me the chance to articulate what came to feel like the constellation of my justice politics, with food being the north star.

Much of my research was critical of the 'relational process' of whiteness which defines ‘issues' and 'solutions' as such with an explicitly white lens. This cyclical process begins in the white imaginary, is verbalized within alternative food organizations, and is then perpetuated in farmers' market saces as well as in the colonialist-type initiatives which continue to prescribe whitewashed food solutions to communities of color. Conversely, moving toward a just, alternative food system require identifying the need to work towards creating systemic change. It necessitates expressions of solidarity and the implementation of local projects to nourish ongoing collaborations and alliances with diverse coalitions.

Similar to the lessons I've learned from facilitating white privilege workshops, I feel it's the responsibility of white alternative food actors to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. In other words, reaching towards a just, inclusive politics requires collaborating across difference, and the processes of deconstructing and redefining value systems which have previously been foundational to one's identity and politics can be distressing, for sure. Nonetheless, friction is an essential part in this process. Rachel Slocum, a food politics scholar I've come to read a lot of, writes about friction as the "awkward, unequal, unstable, and creative qualities of interconnection across difference." It is through this friction, I believe, that new arrangements of culture and power can emerge.

“Another world is not only possible. She is on her way.

On a quiet day I can hear her breathing.”

-Arundhati Roy

Eggplant & zucchini for the grill

i don’t expect anyone aside from Sarah, or any other lurking human that is either doing this last minute as i, or enjoys what we write, to read this, but i’ll declare my intentions, motives, and views. Proper english isn’t proper, nor correct; being influenced by writers who push the boundaries like Adrienne Marie Brown or bell hooks, about using ‘i” capitalized, syntax flow, etc., entice my brain. So i plan to do the same, but don’t worry Sarah, for you, my apostrophes will be on point (to the best of my ability).

i’ve been fortunate to work with Every Body Humboldt (EBH) for my capstone project. Sarah Matik is already aware of systemic injustice, structural violence, and power dynamics with different identity markers (positionality for you keyword savvy readers). EBH gave me the flexibility to experiment with the vision i held, the intersections of art and activism to create an influence irresistible as to entice folks into joining in (Jordans, artivism). i quickly learned that graphic design wasn’t my niche. It pays well, but it didn’t feel right being behind a computer to create zines, flyers, pamphlets, website design, prop-o-ganda, etc.. It’s a skill i’ve harnessed and will probably continue to use, but the scale and function in which i apply this will differ than originally planned. But isn’t that the beauty with thoughtful, or not, experimentation? We get to try something out. How much of a privilege is that? Ah, yes, like a sip of fancy espresso drink, refreshing. Although i started doing this for EBH, this doesn’t mean i’ll stop completely either.

i’ve been enticed by folks living “outside” the system even though i’ve been going to community college for 4 years, and HSU for 2. What was to be gained from either choice of dropping out to live the romanticized lifestyle, or become somewhat institutionalized to gain important information towards “saving the world”?
Didn’t know until i tried.

i feel more confident in my decision making now; bell hooks makes it clear that theory informs action, and that revolution is a process; Paulo Freire declared that we cannot enter the revolution as objects, those who have reality defined for them; The ethnic-nationalist movements of the 1970’s showed the power of redefining ourselves from objects to subjects, paving the road to exercising self-determination; Adrienne Marie Brown and Octavia Butler show the power of visionary fiction, taking the risk theory on utopia/dystopia narratives, and flipping the scripts in various ways--fractals that spiral outward; Theatre of the Oppressed showed how powerful art can be, not only empowering folks targeted by systemic violence but creating alternative models for conflict resolution.

All of these thinkers, actors, and revolutionaries have most inspired my goals, seeded self-reflexivity, and allowed me to deconstruct frames held around my vision and thinking. Because of these humans, and many others, i’m hoping to take up the trauma-based teaching offered by EBH in October to learn the methods in hopes of maybe one day becoming a teacher-facilitator-student for folks considered “at-risk”. My positionality is apart of this, being considered “at-risk” myself, i believe i have the empathy, understanding, and now the knowledge to work with different youth. Using theatre of the oppressed to explore structural issues without the jargon; using mindful movement to release stored bodily, mental, and emotional traumas, while allowing for better absorption of knowledge; giving folks a chance to explore learning that isn’t the way school traditionally provides; and to be a mentor-facilitator-role model of some sorts.
i'm thankful, grateful, enchanted, by the people i've co-created with, by the knowledge and skills gained, the privilege and ability to attend HSU and the ENST program. i believe i'm a social agent of change, but so are many others, if not all. We all have an effect, and affect, on those we interact with, directly or indirectly. We are constantly changing, influx, and producing different scales of change everywhere we go.

“An artist can choose to bring a creative work into existence, or to work on bringing themselves into existence through creativity. Not by producing works of art, but by living creatively - life as art. The world is not simply happening to us - it is up to use to ensure that we create situations where we are happening to the world.” - Tameka Careen (NBD).

I read through a few sections of the book The Impossible Will Take a Little While, a book that is composed of many brilliant authors. As I was reading I stumbled upon a few excerpts that resonated with me. I pieced together a common theme in the different essays of, owning up to the power we each hold and staying resilient to obstacles that life throws our way. Resilience is the key in playing the role as an individual social change agent. Along your journey you may face many self inflicted obstacles such as fear of not doing enough, feelings of being overwhelmed and thoughts of frustration will sink in time in time again. This idea of powerlessness is brought up in Danusha Veronica’s essay, “Political Paralysis”. She reiterates that I am strong as an individual and possess the power to make changes that will grow and generate even more momentum when collective individuals with no power all come together. Veronica claims, “The problem is not that we have so little power. The problem is that we don’t use the power that we have”. I couldn’t agree more I personally feel that change starts with the individual pursuing their passion, I for one am still finding what that passion is, but having that passion is what brings out the drive in an individual giving them power. Power comes within one's own self determination but, when many individuals come together change can be met by resilience. Resilience can and will shift the balance from no power to power. I to sum it all up, I believe staying true to oneself is the most power conducive thing one can do.

Let It All Out

by Robert Johnson

When I look back to specific events in my life, I obtain only bits and pieces of these memories. Some are more vibrant than others. As the last two years have progressed, I have been questioning, what will I remember most? I embedded this thought within my everyday habits, so that I could try to remember everything. The smallest details of my day, to conversations, stressing for tests, moments sitting on a bench soaking up the sun, long drives, songs that made my day, banana slugs and northern spotted owls. The memories go on; for now at least.

Similar to the past events, I imagine that time will disconnect the smallest memories, and I will retain the ones that were more impactful. But I won’t know which memories those are, until the latter presents itself. I don’t want that to happen.

In all that we learned at HSU, Environmental Studies taught me that expressing my emotions is okay. As simple as this sounds, this is not an easy feat. Before HSU, this was difficult for me. Little did I know that I walked a path that was leading towards social loneliness, negative feelings, and confusion of truths about our human conditions. My confidants in ENST truly helped me identify those emotions, and how to relate and process them, within myself and towards society. Emotions are information that need to be released. My communication has been more open, and my ability to retain the information has increased, due to adjusting my attitude for awareness and attunement to another’s feelings. This was not the education I was expecting, but is the education I needed. This memory is so impactful, that it trickles down into a web of moments at HSU.

Another impactful memory was my service learning as a Firefighter this semester. I took these emotions and the knowledge I have retained, and applied them to a position of immense responsibility. This career banishes ego’s and selfishness. It provides perfection in communication, teamwork, preparation, and emotional strength. Taking the Fire Academy was an eye opener. But to actually be out there witnessing scenarios that we really don’t want to see, will be another true test.

My goal after college is to write about it all. From the beginning to the end. I saved all my work, from which I can use for reminders. I have better developed my habits to reintroduce the information continuously, in order to retain it. Most importantly, it takes regurgitating it to truly embed it. Others should know what I experienced. Others should know what we all experienced. This is how I will never lose these memories. I will continue to deconstruct the shit out my time here at Humboldt State University.

Thank you all for being there and producing some of the best years of my life.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.”

Maya Angelou

Manifesto: We Are All Masters of Our Own Destiny

I have been a college student for six years, four of which I spent at Columbia Community College in Tuolumne county, California. There, I was separate and oblivious to disproportionate effect of environmental degradation on people who didn’t look like me. Being from a rural area with little diversity and completely void of difficult conversation about race, culture, and injustices, I was blind to my privilege. The latter two years of college I have spent here at Humboldt State University as an Environmental Studies(ENST) student where I have been fortunate to be part of a cohort and program that critically analyzes environmental issues through a social lens; Considering power, privilege, economics, and culture when attempting to find solutions to the various monumental ecological crises we face as a species today.

Our professor posed a series of deep and challenging questions for us to consider when writing our manifesto, the summarization of our undergrad academic journey and the “cap” to our senior capstone course, but truly the beginning of a whole new journey, for all of us. This is my attempt, by reaching back through the years of life and school, pain and joy, to answer these questions and stake claim to my vision for the future. The term social change agent was first used in 1965 when the Canadian University Press, a cooperative of student newspapers, revised its statement of principles to reflect what it thought a student’s role in society should be during the civil-rights revolutions of the time. I believe their definition isn’t even worth sharing because it’s something that people were practicing before the term was defined, and every generation will adopt their own definition of this term through action.

            I do see myself as a social change agent, and I will explain what that means to me on a personal level. By simply being aware of and talking about the vast amount of environmental and social injustices occurring right now, as I sit in this coffee shop and sip my latte, I am creating social change. Now I know many people would disagree with this by claiming that change takes radical action, or that change takes social movements, and in some cases, they may be right. But if there is anything I’ve learned as an ENST student it is that change comes in many forms and can start in the smallest of ways. One conversation, one act of kindness, one idea, large or small, has the power to fundamentally alter the fabric of existence. To cause ripples in the entangled web of our lives on this planet. As some students have done before in their manifestos that I am blessed to have read, I will harken back to Emergent Strategy by Adrienne Maree Brown and the concept of fractals, an idea that represents how like crystal growth or galaxy formation, our actions perpetuate each other and grow upon each other in ways we could never imagine.

            So, yes, I do believe I am a social change agent, but that doesn’t mean I will stop learning or growing and that doesn’t mean others can’t also cause deep and lasting change. We all have the power to create positive and noticeable social change, its weather or not we believe in that fact. For my capstone experience I decided to do a community-based service learning project and had the privilege to work with Greenway Partners, an engineering firm that doesn’t just design eco-friendly structures but also focuses on social responsibility and building community. Now, I am no engineer, but I am an advocate for social responsibility, so this company had a place for a student like me and I a desire to work with them. What drew me to this community partner was their work with a local tribe, the Hoopa Valley Indian Tribe of Hoopa, CA. As an HSU student I have became immersed in the strong presence of the native tribes of the area and have taken numerous Native American Studies courses. I made a friend in my cohort, Matthew Marshall, a member of the Hoopa Tribe, and was welcomed in his beautiful mountain home where his ancestors have lived for over 10,000 years.

Hoopa Valley, CA.

 

            Through spending time in Hoopa and learning about their culture, I realized this was the right path for my capstone experience. Greenway is helping the Hoopa Tribe establish their own tribally owned and operated grocery store after a chain pulled out of the remote valley in 2016, an ambitious and historical achievement. Supporting indigenous peoples in their quest towards culture revitalization, and simply acknowledging their distinct cultures is one step towards creating environmental justice in this country. There are deep wounds left over from colonization that need to be healed, for the conqueror and the conquered. That is one problem in the world I hope to get involved with and hopefully make better. My capstone experience made me realize many things, the most important of which is that I am capable on manifesting what I want for the future. What I mean by that is only by having a positive attitude while speaking one’s desires and vision into existence is what leads people to attaining the things they truly desire. We are all masters of our own destiny.

            Another important thing I learned from my capstone supervisor at Greenway, Aristea Saulsbury, an amazing woman, is that asking great questions is what makes great leaders and therefore leads to the best possible answers and solutions. She had me read a book titled Leading with Questions: How Leaders Find the Right Solutions by Knowing What to Ask by Michael J. Marquardt. It couldn’t have been more perfect timing for me to grasp the importance of questions, as I am graduating and wondering what I will do next with my life and how will I use my ENST education to shape my future and the future of others. Its time I start asking myself and the world around me some tough questions.

 

Special thanks for Dr. Sarah Ray for her guidance, support, love, and great questions. Also, special thanks to Loren Collins for his infectiously positive attitude and undying zeal to defeat the capitalist system and help students find their true passion and purpose. And, thanks to all those who have helped me along the way. Friends, family, enemies, everyone who has influenced and encouraged me, you will all be a part of me forever.

 

Believe in Hope and Persevere when all seems Impossible!

Time has flown by from the first day I set foot on HSU campus and things definitely changed from that day on. I started as a Wildlife major and after a year gone by almost, I changed major to Environmental Studies. Truthfully I was heartbroken that my dream of working with animals faded. I wanted to still take wildlife classes and choose my emphasis in the Environmental Studies major conservation and ecology. I remembered the bright light filled room of ENST 120 class and feeling overwhelmed not knowing exactly what this major could teach me. Throughout the years my athletic participation on both cross country & track and field team has been a part of my up and downs at HSU. I am hard on myself more than I would ever like to admit and it causes stress all around in my life. I want to succeed in all areas of my life and ENST gave me a view of how to balance the importance of self-happiness. From the first ENST class to this last Capstone class every single ENST class put a lot of weight and value on self-care. I never grappled the full effect of being thrown all this negative material about the reality of our earth, the system we live in, and much more. I admit I put up a wall to block my anxiety, fear or hurt. I tend to put on a solid unphased front when around people and truthfully ENST has helped me know its ok to feel and cry in front of your classmates. Remembering my presentation in ENST 395 talking about a paper I wrote and the passion as well as personal information that I shared with the class because I allowed myself to trust. Trust that my fellow classmates and friends be understanding and there for me if I did cry or unable to complete the presentation. When I am passionate about what I talk about my feelings heighten and my walls fall.

The capstone class this semester been an amazing experience in so many ways. Getting to know so many locals, and be apart of adult meetings and having my opinions heard in board meetings was gratifying. I felt more empowered through the semester and I felt I was making a real difference in my life when working at my learning service project location. I did an internship with Trinidad Coastal Land Trust and the office was located in Trinidad, CA. I was very fortunate to have received the position and Overall it changed me for the better. I am more confident now speaking to a higher authority and other adults who have more experience than myself. I learned to navigate excel even more than before plus know the importance of connections with other businesses, etc. Truthfully this semester I was in conflict with my parents and coaches more than ever in my life. I was given a choice and the answer I would give either be angering the coaches or my parents. I choose to finally choose for myself and my own goals. I give credit to my friends, and this class teaching me the importance of having my own ideas, mindset, and be determined to reach a goal many maybe doubting you on. Ending this semester is bittersweet because so many are leaving and there is so much yet to finish up also mend broken connections. I thank ENST for giving me the strength, wisdom to go forward with my life goals. This world cannot be fixed overnight but I am determined to be a part of keeping it healthy and thriving with wildlife. I know my thoughts and doubts of, humanity as a whole can/cannot save our earth but if we can really make a difference as an individual in this world believes in hope.

Manifesto

A social change agent steers others to desire and choose what is good, true, and beautiful. A social change agent is someone who has the courage to take on this world with aims to defend the dignity of the human person. It is someone who lives by example and not just by words. In good deeds, a person is likely to create lasting changes to counter the greed that abounds among large businesses and corporate owners. When I think of agent, I think of acting out of the free will. It is using that will to choose to do good to combat the greed that runs the world. I will intervene by loving in the smallest ways. Throughout my time as an ENST major, I realized that I do not have to do grand gestures to make a change but, to do “small things with great love,” as Saint Therese humbly said.

I want to impact those in healthcare and get them to realize that everyone deserves healthcare. When all is said and done, I take with me a deeper appreciation of the importance of a narrative. There are so many narratives that shape our world today and I leave HSU with a zest to learn more while humbly acknowledging I cannot know everything. Capstone has revealed to me that the ENST lens is a tool necessary to navigate through the world especially recognizing the harsh realities. For example, some people prefer profit over people, many come from a privileged background and do not recognize it, and science is not the end of all things. I would not feel fully alive if I did not speak up against injustice. ENST has equipped me with the tools to discern right from wrong.

Working at the Mad River Community Hospital for Service Learning was a wonderful opportunity. It has solidified my choice to pursue a second degree in Nursing. During one of my shifts, a patient entered the emergency room screaming because she was in so much pain. Her homecare nurse quit and left the bedridden woman to herself. I watched from a distance how one nurse tended to the woman’s physical needs. There lay a patient who could not physically care for herself, yet a nurse who did not know her readily remedied the wounds. I was inspired by the corporal work that the nurse took on because another chose to leave. Another example that shaped my world was at the bedside of a dying patient. I was up-front and personal with the woman on her deathbed. It was a turning point that made me realize that the worse people anyone can think of are mere humans. I would not want to wish death on a person.

In this capstone, I was able to recognize that there are many narratives that shape our world today. Furthermore, it is hard to define how the notion of social change in my life has manifested without factoring in the God who created me. Being a social change agent is made more worthy when I put my faith in God with whom anything is possible. It is through the virtue of charity that I aspire to live with unconditional love towards my neighbor. The impact, I made through service learning is that I helped nurses who are in the front lines of wound care. I did so by restocking the medicine room, which made sure they were readily supplied with the items they needed to care for patients. I also prepared Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) kits. Furthermore, I have learned that there is power in the act of  observance. Part of my job description was to do hand-hygiene observation where I recorded how many times the staff would clean their hands. The staff is supposed to wash their hands each time they enter and exit a patient’s room to prevent the spread of viruses. It was intriguing because I recognize how much observing I also do in ENST classes, mostly absorbing the many ideas in the class.

My capstone expectations were both exceeded and shifted. I used to think that because I am getting into a different field, then ENST is a total waste of time, but it is not. It is a helpful tool that has equipped me with interdisciplinary knowledge. I can confidently say I know a little bit about anthropology, power and privilege, economics, environmental research and writing, and tools in geospatial analysis. More specifically, the analysis of power and structure addresses the importance of not letting my own biases to keep me from helping another person in need, or to be misled by another person’s viewpoint by putting them in a box. It is humbling to know that there are so many limitations of working “within the system.” Being part of anything successful requires a handful of good leaders. Bureaucracy is part of any organization, yet any good working environment allows room for individuals to be themselves successfully.

My very next steps are to go home, love my family, and share with them the good that came out of my time at Humboldt State University. Shortly after, I plan to take a couple more classes to prepare me for Nursing school. My dream is to become a registered nurse and to support a family of my own. I move forward holding on to the wide array of knowledge the interdisciplinarity of ENST has offered me.

Wrapping up my capstone experience

Reflecting back on my time spent here at HSU I can say without a doubt that switching my major to ENST junior year was the best decision I made throughout college. Going into my capstone experience I must admit that I was not entirely certain what I wanted to pursue with my learning service opportunity. I knew that I wanted to work with a community partner that was passionate about inspiring change in the lives of others. When I heard Beth from the Humboldt County Department of Education come in and talk about the Redwood Edventures quest program I was immediately intrigued. Intrigued over the idea of designing a quest of my own for youth and families to enjoy for years to come that really excited to me. However, as I began to work with beth I started to realize that I would not have the freedom of control over the project that I was hoping for, in that I was bound to the location of her choosing. Working with what I was given alongside fellow ENST student Jonathan Gomez we began to start planning the Redwood Edventure quest at the Mad River fish hatchery. After several weeks went by Beth informed us both about the strategic reasoning for why there was need to make a quest for at the fish hatchery and that was because the quest would coincide with another department of education project the Classroom Aquarium Education Program. Designing a quest at the fish hatchery would provide curious k-12 students an opportunity to have a hand held guided tour of the hatchery where they can learn about the habitat in which their fish came from. Jonathan and I designed the quest and another fellow ENSTer Blake Hildabrand designed the map graphic for us.

Half way through the semester I shifted gears and focused mostly on the classroom aquarium project. I was allowed full creative control over the classroom aquarium poster design for a big fundraising project. Landing the service learning with Beth and the Department of Education was a great fit for me. I was able to strengthen my photoshop and graphic design capabilities, which was a personal goal of mine. Coming into this service learning as a media production emphasis I was in search of real work setting exposure in this field and got just that. One of the aspects I enjoyed the most was having the freedom to go out and take photos and gather video documentation that will be incorporated into future projects for the Department of Education. One of the biggest lessons I took away from this service learning was realizing how essential communication is. When working with multiple people on projects it is necessary to have effective communication so you can rely on each person to do their part so all expectations come together by the deadline. Working with multiple people kept me sharp and trained me to send emails in a professional manner.

As I get one step closer to finishing my college career I can say with confidence that the ENST program help me acquire the skills I seeked to become the social change agent I want to be in this world. As for what's next? I’m looking forward to spending some down time away from school and allow myself to reflect back on what has been the best four years of my life thus far. All in all I really feel that I lucked out with my community partner and had a valuable service learning experience. I was able to build a strong relationship with her and I hope to continue working on projects together in the future. I can see myself hopefully doing an internship with the Humboldt County Department of Education throughout the fall.

Stages of Grief, Stages of Research: Reflections on the Semester

It has been almost 2 years since my older brother, Sage, passed away after many years struggling with substance use. My brother lived with substance use disorder and this shaped so much of how he positioned himself in the world. He was often angry, nearly always in the depths of depression, and one of the most emotionally and socially isolated people I’ve ever known. He was also brilliant, generous, funny, sensitive, and so proud of   my sister and I-- his love tangible and glowing, an ever present force in my life. So much of his isolation and discomfort in his life were due to the fact that his world had largely dismissed and rejected him. Society blames substance use disorder on a failure of   character, a lack of agency, on poverty and broken family ties, a narrative that robbed him of every last shred of hope and trust in himself and his loved ones.  My work this semester has centered Sage, and so many others like him. I know that substance use disorder is many faceted, and I was aware that I could only hope to scratch the surface, but I knew that I had to try. I wanted to explore the systemic causes of substance use disorder and to do my best to deconstruct the harmful and oppressive narratives about the millions of humans that live (and die) internalizing layers and layers of oppression and shame around a disorder that is rooted deeply in capitalism and neoliberalism.

                        

     My research was often painful, particularly at the beginning of the process. Several of the people that I spoke with suggested that this kind of research can act as sort of catharsis, a therapizing dive into suppressed parts of ourselves. For awhile though, it was   mostly just painful-- I hated it, I avoided it, I was angry that I had chosen it for myself. As I dug deeper though, that anger and pain began to turn outward. I learned about the specific ways that people living in rural areas are denied access to recovery services. I learned about the pharmaceutical companies that profit off of humans like my brother, providing both the prescription opioid painkillers that act as a gateway to heroin use and the prescription opioids that act a recovery tool for heroin use. I learned about the ways that even as opiate use becomes a predominantly white problem, The country still profits off of blaming and incarcerating people of color for opiate use at astronomical rates. I realized that substance use fits into oppressive frameworks in an important and distinct way,  but that there is huge gap in the scholarship about this subject. The true roots of substance use are complicated, nuanced, differ widely from person to person, and any attempt to pin down explanations tends to result in more frustration and confusion. Never the less, much of the information that I gathered was concrete, widely applicable, and downright enraging. 

Ultimately, I want people with substance use disorder to be treated as humans. I want substance use disorder to be integrated into the wider understanding of intersectional identities and oppressive frameworks. I want harmful words like “addict”, “abuse”, and “lapse” to be abolished from the collective glossary of terms describing substance use. I want people with substance use disorder to have access to effective, compassionate, and affordable recovery and medical services, and to feel the support of community rather than the darkness of isolation under the label of “tough love”. 

My research has only just begun to scratch the surface of these goals, I know, but maybe it will serve to start this conversation among a few people, to turn our collective pain and anger into something a little more productive. If I have succeeded in starting that dialogue, I think that I've also succeeded in bringing a little more light into the world, and that's really enough for now. 

Knowing My Capabilities

Robert Johnson - Blog 4

Before I step off the last rung of the ladder, I ask myself, “should I be on this roof?”

At this point of time, I had no choice. I took the blunt end of the pike pole and sounded the roof by striking the roof surface, looking for hot spots and weaknesses in the structure. It sounded and felt solid. I peered down at my partner on the ladder and gave her the go ahead signal. She was carrying up the chainsaw. I took my first step onto the roof and continued to strike the surface. I then turned and accepted the chainsaw from my partner, so she could approach the rooftop safely. Once she was up, I handed the chainsaw back to her. We needed to progress up the gable roof to the mid ridge.

Time is our utmost concern, for we have little knowledge of the fire progressing inside. Our goal is to minimize the radiant heat in the house, by opening up a ventilation hole that would release gases. So far there were no warning signs of an unsafe roof. This would consist of melting asphalt, a spongy roof, or smoke and fire seeping out from the rooftop.

We stopped five feet before the mid ridge. The roof seemed stable so we chose our location. On the other side of the pike pole are two fork-like prongs. I slammed the two prongs into the roof and layed down the pole, securing parallel with the mid ridge. This enables me to utilize the tool as a footing. My partner is communicating with Incident Command, to verify all locations of our team. Also informing them that we are proceeding on the opening. She hands me the chainsaw and then anchors herself next to my back leg for extra safety precaution.

My mind is quickly assessing all the side variables. What level is our oxygen at? How many layers of roofing is there? What is the wind doing? What is our second means of escape?

The wind was light and at my back, so this meant that the smoke would push away from me once the hole was made. I turned on the chainsaw and prepared to make my cuts. When cutting, the chainsaw must be in a 90 degree angle. The first cut I made was a vertical cut about 4 feet long, away from my body. Smoke began releasing through the seam. I then proceeded to make a horizontal cut on top about 3 feet. This cut is crucial because beams come in play. I angled the chainsaw at about 45 degrees and lifted it slightly. This was to prevent cutting through the beams, and losing our support. I then proceed to make a second horizontal incision meeting up at the bottom of the first vertical cut. The last cut is a vertical incision, close to us, and would open up the ventilation hole. We needed to adjust our position so that we were not directly within the gases and heat. We stepped back about 2 feet. I then began to make the incision, and could feel the radiant heat releasing. My gloves were warming up fast. Vision was decreasing slightly as I was finishing. The roof patch fell in and the gases and smoke burst out of the house, eager to escape. I turned off the chainsaw and handed it to my partner. She slowly and safely made her way back to the ladder, watching every step. I then pried my pike pole from the roof, and slowly made my way back to the ladder, where my partner was waiting, so that we can progress as a team. I took the chainsaw from her so she could access the ladder, and from there I handed it back. The chainsaw always goes down first for safety reasons. I then slowly accessed the ladder and while taking my foot back off the roof, I said to myself, “yes, I should be on this roof?”

Now that the smoke and gases are released from the house, our team downstairs can easily identify the source of the fire and put it out. Not only are they putting out the fire, they are able to see what possessions they can save and can control the amount of water destruction.

FIRE ACADEMY TRAINING - VENTILATION

For a while now I have been denying my potential and my abilities. I stopped expressing myself, my thoughts, and all that I have aquired. What I mean by this, is that my solitude is the crux of my own denial. I limited my access to learn from others, as well as to provide help to those who may have needed me. In the book Political Paralysis, Denusha Veronica Goska brings up a question that lingers with me. Why do we not honor what we can do? I think about this all the time, and it’s very true. I have the ability to connect. To pass on information or take it in. Why do I fear that? In reality I don’t fear it, I just convince myself not to do it. I put myself back in solitude because it’s easy to be on my own. But I know I am only restricting my own capabilities.

In the story above, I could not have completed that task without the help of another. It is crucial to understand that we cannot do this alone. This last semester at HSU has been an eye opener for me. A reminder that everything is relevant and the importance of having people around you, is imperative. I am done denying my own power.