Allies and Adversaries

One of the most valuable experiences of my internship is the long car rides between our office and our job sites. During these tireless journeys, I have an opportunity to pick the brains of my coworkers and acquire a wealth of knowledge and experiences. One day, a coworker of mine spoke something so simple yet so incredibly wise. He said that to fulfill our endeavors of leaving a positive legacy, we must converse and empathize with our adversaries, and in doing so one might gain many valuable insights that'll prove advantageous in our mission to promote social and environmental healing. I don't know if it was his effortless collected demeanor, or the tone with which he spoke, but those words immediately changed something in me. But while this idea seemed so simple in theory, many of us know that in practice it is quite a difficult task.

So here I am now, a few months later still trying to calculate how to have civil discussions with people whose values and interests are toxic to my own. So many of us that are passionate about social change have a deep and powerful disgust for those who have made social change an absolute necessity. I see in many people that this disgust can lead to unconstructive behavior, such as absolute avoidance of difficult discussions, or worse, absolute fury. What I've concluded for me personally is that the difficulty in engaging in constructive and empathetic communication isn't exclusively out there in my adversaries, but also within me, inundated by my emotions, values, interests, and insecurities. Together these layers kindle a deep and passionate fire, at times making critical and constructive communication with those who appear as adversaries extremely difficult. But if this fire burns too fast, all I've done is create a deeper divide, and reaffirmed an "us" versus "them" mentality. A mentality that served as the very basis for many of the injustices that corrode humanity and necessitate social change. Instead this fire must be harnessed and turned into a tool to guide me along my journey. Only then will I be able to bring others out of the darkness and into the light. And however difficult it may seem, sometimes this process begins with empathy.