The Gates of Hope

On the evening of International Women’s Day I lay in bed thinking about the people who have come before me. I dream of the women who, as Victoria Safford says, planted themselves “at the gates of Hope.” In her essay, The Small Work in the Great Work, she quotes a friend, a psychiatrist, grappling at the intersection of grief and self assurance. She says:

"You know I cannot save them. I am not here to save anybody or to save the world. All I can do–what I am called to do–is to plant myself at the gates of Hope. Sometimes they come in; sometimes they walk by. But I stand there every day and I call out till my lungs are sore with calling, and beckon and urge them in toward beautiful life and love."

WOW. WOW. WOW.

There is a lot to be said about the emotional expectancy of the female psyche. As a woman, as  an empath, I am often called upon by those who seek comfort in times of despair. For me, the boundaries are blurry between the assumed responsibility of facilitating healing and inflating a buffer between that person and my own emotional needs.

Coming across this essay had a profound effect on me. It has shifted the way I will view reaching out to people in my family, colleges, my community, and romantic relationships. If I plant myself at the gates of Hope, I can welcome people in with open arms, compassion, & active listening. If I cultivate boundaries of self care I can be resilient when I do not succeed. We can only give what others are ready to receive. It made me think about Dr. Sarah Ray’s paper we read a couple of weeks ago and the concept of arcs, and where we ephemerally find ourselves on them.  

The arc, to me, feels like a time continuum. In a parallel universe we may all be on the same page in our development as social change agents, but unfortunately in this particular one, we are not. It is my goal to learn how to wave at others as we cross paths and dream of the ones who are much further ahead than I. I envision the gates of Hope as a point plotted much further down the road within my own arc. There, I will patiently wait for the others navigating their own journey, and like a lighthouse I will welcome them home.