To The Teacher That...

“When students are encouraged to trust in their capacity to learn they can meet difficult challenges with a spirit of resilience and competence...Teachers who extend the care and respect that is a component of love make it possible for students to address their fears openly and to receive affirmation and support.”

Being a college senior has turned out to be an extremely reflective time for me, which I must say, I did not expect when I started this collegiate education journey. As I begin to close this chapter in my life, at the extremely confusing age of 22, I can't help but look backwards at what, and who, has led me up to this very moment. It seems as if the days, and years, have flown by and it was just yesterday that I was attending my first day of college at FCC in my hometown of Fresno, California. How did I get here to Humboldt State? How did I get in this Environmental Studies Program? It would seem that this writing by Bell Hooks titled, Teaching Community - A Pedagogy Of Hope, has come at just the right time to help me dive deeper into these questions.  

If it had not been for some very influential and, in retrospect, loving teachers than I cannot say for sure at all if I would be graduating this spring with my degree in Environmental Studies...I cannot say for sure at all where I would even be in this world. What I like about the piece by Bell Hooks, is that she articulates an experience that I myself have undergone as an undergrad as I have been working,  and searching my way through the thick jungle canopy that is the college schooling system. Looking back to who I was at the beginning of my college career I can now acknowledge this: I was extremely insecure (and clueless) about my abilities, my strengths, and my weaknesses.Now I feel so much more confident in the few years I have dedicated myself to becoming a more well rounded and critical thinker. I can proudly declare what I know I am good at and what I know I struggle in without any feeling of shame or anxiety.

How do we put a price on that? What school standard did a teacher use to give me this gift of confidence? Is it the textbooks and tests that I have to thank for this? The answer is a loud and assertive HELL NO.

What has been the most formative and influential for me throughout my college experience has been my professors. And this one thing, my professors, is what  I have come to realize is my definition of a pedagogy of hope as it most makes sense to me in my life. I can think of certain teachers specifically who really changed my course and steered me closer to my most current being and for that I will be forever grateful.

Without these teachers extending their care, respect, and love to me I would have never done so many things that I currently treasure so dearly. This affirmation and support that I received from my teachers has meant everything to me and I want to take this particular moment in space and time to consciously honor them. I want to do this because although these people have meant so much to me in my life..most of them I have no idea how to contact and they would never guess they made such a big impact on me. In fact I can't even remember some of their names. It is funny how the mind works...So at least, at the very least, this is a place to start to honor these teachers and all of the love, and hope they have instilled in me.

• Thank you to that weird philosophy teacher I had in Jr. college for philosophy of religion that always wore bicycle shorts and cleared his throat every two minutes. You drove me insane most of the time but underneath your..quirkiness..you were a brilliant man. Thank you for introducing me to the world of ancient philosophers and for the wisdom that they have continued to bring me in my life. Thank you for teaching me that it is not what is on the outside, it is what people have on the inside that matters. Thank you for teaching me patience. Thank you for teaching me how to deconstruct philosophical views and opinions. Thank you for the God and the stone question. That has always stuck with me!

• Thank you to my JR. College biology 103 teacher who taught me that women can study and work within the world of science. Thank you for giving me enough to confidence to realize that I AM smart enough to study and work in science too. Thank you for inspiring me to have role models again. Thank you for being someone I wanted to impress and for unintentionally encouraging me to get a high A in your class. Thank you for being the first proud and well educated vegetarian that I had the pleasure of discussing animals with that showed me other people think critically about animals as well. Thank you for inspiring me to find a science program that fit my interests!

• Thank you to Mr. Tannen for seeing talent and worth in my writing in Jr. College. Thank you for caring about me, engaging with me, and respecting me enough to reach out and tell me to that I would be a good english tutor. I would have NEVER done something like that otherwise. Thank you for having fun, themed, classes for English 1A and 3 that have forever changed my interpretation of superheroes and my future immensely. Thank you for making me a better writer and for helping me become more confident and secure in my abilities.

• Thank you to Professor Sarah Ray for your passion for critical thinking that you bring to class with you every single day. Thank you for somehow getting to know me, my passions and my life despite having countless other students in your life. Thank you for making me feel like I have important and valid things to say. Thank you for introducing me to so many amazing authors that I will literally spend years reading. Thank you for always being your authentic and honest self. Thank you for being the mentor I needed and wanted from my time at Humboldt State.   

So who the hell am I this may when I graduate from college and am officially in every way an “adult”? I have no clue. But what I do know is that without these people, these teachers that each gave me something unique: that inspired me, educated me, gave me hope, and molded me into the articulated and confident person I am today, have made all the difference. They have all individually helped me figure out who I am...and you know what? I think I am pretty damn cool.